Songs of Mr. B (album)

by Wes Mantooth

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1.
Humble Pie 02:34
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Oh, there’s been a lot of talk about which dog is the best. Some folks say it’s the one with a white heart on his chest. The Border Collie-Shepherd mix with a black coat thick and shiny. The one and only famous, braggadocious Mr. B.! Yes, there’s been a lot of talk about this dog named Mr. B. The Border Collie-Shepherd mix with a black coat thick and shiny. Some folks are sayin’ he’s been showin’ too much pride. Some folks are sayin’ he should eat some humble pie. Maybe some folks wonder why he has to howl so loud— Why he has the sort of ringin’ bark that stands out in a crowd. Well, why shouldn’t he make music? His voice was made to sing. Why shouldn’t he woof orders? He’s a noble backyard king. Maybe some folks wonder why he acts like he’s so good— Why he struts along as if he owns the whole darn neighborhood! Some folks are sayin’ he’s been showin’ too much pride. Some folks are sayin’ he should eat some humble pie. Some folks are sayin’ that his fashion’s just too weird, Like they’ve never seen a handsome dog wear a pirate hat and wig. If he wore a gray bandana would they all be satisfied, And say that Mr. B. had finally eaten humble pie? Said Bear, “Before my song is through, There’s something you should know. Yes, I’ve eaten humble pie, but that was long ago. It tasted just like sawdust, and it made me hang my head, But I would gladly gobble up some chicken pie instead!”
2.
Don't Mess With Mr. B 01:58
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Here he comes, struttin’ down the street— Don’t ya hear his dog tags janglin’. His sleek black fur’s combed back just right, And his red bandana’s danglin’. Perky ears, a bushy tail, and fire in his eyes— Watch out, watch out, it’s plain to see, You Don’t Mess with Mr. B.! When you see him fetchin’ balls and sticks, When you learn that he is a Belgian Shepherd-Border Collie mix, When he melts your heart with his sweet voice, You’ll think twice before you mess with Mr. B.! Here he comes, struttin’ down the street— He keeps his leash pulled tight. His mighty nose is figurin’ out if everything’s alright. Don’t rush him when he takes it slow, Don’t make him wait when he’s ready to go, Watch out, watch out, you’d better know, You Don’t Mess with Mr. B.!
3.
Get That Dog 02:06
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There’s a high flyin’ ball comin’ down. He’s got his claws dug in the ground. With a leap and a smack and a twist of his back, He’s off with a thunderin’ sound. Get that dog, get that dog, get that dog, get that dog! He’s captured the best prize of all— An old soggy green tennis ball. “Drop it!” they cry as he chuckles inside. For that trick Mr. B. will not fall! Down his Cheetah Run train, just the blur of his tail… Get that dog! Under swings, around trees, watch him gallop with ease… Get that dog! Over bushes and chairs, see him sail through the air… Get that dog! They’ll never learn how he twists and he turns… They’ll never Get That Dog! There’s a hundred hands tryin’ their best To put Mr. B. under arrest. “Stop him!” they say. “He’s getting’ away, The black dog with a spot on his chest!” Down his Cheetah Run train, just the blur of his tail… Get that dog! Under swings, around trees, watch him gallop with ease… Get that dog! Over bushes and chairs, see him sail through the air… Get that dog! “Over here!” “Over there!” “It’s too late!” “He’s nowhere!” They’ll never Get That Dog!
4.
Big Backyard 02:30
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Oh, I used to ramble and I used to roam, But now My Big Backyard is home. Oh, I used to think that life was hard, But now I’m the King of My Big Backyard. Big-woof! Back-woof! Yard-woof-woof! Big-woof! Back-woof! Yard-woof-woof! Oh, if you want to have some fun, Come join me on my Cheetah Run! You can say I brag, but I don’t care, This Big Backyard belongs to Bear! Big-woof! Back-woof! Yard-woof-woof! Big-woof! Back-woof! Yard-woof-woof! In My Big Backyard stands a wall so high It almost blocks the sun and sky. The other dogs would not dare try, But I leap that wall easy as pie! In my big-woof! Back-woof! Yard-woof-woof! Big-woof! Back-woof! Yard-woof-woof! Running, barking, standing guard— I’m always King of My Big Backyard. My chickens need not fret or fear As long as Mr. B. is here. Big-woof! Back-woof! Yard-woof-woof! Big-woof! Back-woof! Yard-woof-woof! When my day’s work is finally done, I catch a tennis ball just for fun. No ball bounces too high for me To fetch it for my family. Big-woof! Back-woof! Yard-woof-woof! Big-woof! Back-woof! Yard-woof-woof!
5.
My Glorious Hens 03:50
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Every morning I crawl from my crate Still feelin’ only half awake. I stretch and groan and let them pet me, Then I go and eat my breakies. Something’s still missin’ … what can it be? A distant clucking calls to me. Let the door open! Let the day begin! Let me go and greet my glorious hens! Oh, little flock, how you cackle and peep. Did anyone disturb your sleep? Is there anything that’s troubling you? Tell me all of your latest news. Is there anything at all that you need? Some water or some chicken feed? Let me keep you company I’ll just lie here – don’t mind me. Let the door open! Let the day begin! Let me go and greet my glorious hens! Just for a day, please let me trade... My front legs for some wings. Give me skinny little legs in back And on my head … those red, floppy things. Let me trade my tail for a feather bouquet And my squishy nose for a beak. Then I could be one of the chickens – One of My Glorious Hens! Little birds, are you talkin’ ’bout me? Are you singin’ the praises of ol’ Mr. B.? Are you admirin’ the way that I leap? The way I catch tennis balls in my teeth? Are you wishin’ you could come out and play? I think I know what you’re tryin’ to say: “Just for a day, please let us trade our wings for your front legs. Let us have your bushy tail – we’ll give you all our eggs! You can use our little claws, we’ll jump and dig with your fine paws. You can have a chicken’s glory – we want to live like grand Mr. B.!” So let the door open! Let the day begin! Let the door open! Let the day begin! Let the door open! Let the day begin! Let me go and greet my glorious hens!
6.
A Lick in the Night 02:27
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Sometimes a night can last forever—lyin’ in my crate. I know the mornin’s bound to come, but it’s oh so hard to wait. I think about my family sound asleep upstairs. Sometimes I get to worryin’ they might have gone somewhere. So I use my magic powers to slip right through the bars. I poke my snout into each room where my masters gently snore. I must not woof or whine, for that might wake them with a fright! I’ll just find a cheek or toe and leave a little Lick in the Night! I stop at my littlest master’s door. There’s toys and clothes all over the floor. So I walk on my tiptoes to get to her bed, And ever so gently I lick her forehead. My next smallest master’s asleep in the next room, Where everything’s lit by an orange full moon. Before I am spied in the moon’s friendly glow, A quick lick on her toes and I silently go. The last room is where my big masters lie dreaming. If I was caught here, there might even be screaming! Still, each master will get just a touch of my tongue Then I’m back in my crate! My night’s job is done! Sometimes a night can last forever—lyin’ in my crate. I know the mornin’s bound to come, But it’s oh, oh, oh, oh, oh… oh so hard to wait.
7.
Brilliant Energy Always Ready 02:25
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For an hour or even more I’ve been flat upon the floor Waiting and waiting for my masters To go out so we can do our chores. I heave a sigh, I roll my eyes, I look as bored as I can be. I pace and twirl, I swish my tail, but still they cannot see... Well, the B and the E stands for “brilliant energy,” And the A and the R means you’ll find me “always ready.” Just put it all together, you’ve got B. E. A. and R. — The brilliant energy of Mr. B! Well, I might take a little rest, / And you might even hear me snore, But say the words that I like best / And watch me fly right out the door! Well, the B and the E stands for “brilliant energy,” And the A and the R means you’ll find me “always ready.” Just put it all together, you’ve got B. E. A. and R. — The brilliant energy of Mr. B! As I go racing all around, my paws they hardly touch the ground. And all you see is a streak of black and then a dusty cloud. First, I greet some passing friends, then I check up on my hens. Next, I bark up every tree to warn the squirrels away! Well, the B and the E stands for “brilliant energy,” And the A and the R means you’ll find me “always ready.” Just put it all together, you’ve got B. E. A. and R. — The brilliant energy of Mr. B!
8.
Aisle B (for Mr. B) 01:31
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Are your tennis balls worn out, are they nowhere to be found? Have the same old toys day after day got you feelin’ down? We have balls and ropes and squeaky toys of highest quality. You’ll find them and more in Aisle B – for Mr. B! Is your dog food dry and stale, does it make you grit your teeth? Do your masters ever ask you what you really want to eat? We have chicken flavored popcorn and a hundred kinds of cheese. You’ll find that and more in Aisle B – for Mr. B! Do you have a red bandanna or some glasses for the sun? Do you have a hat and wig that you can put on just for fun? If you’re a short or tall dog, if you’re slender or you’re chunky, We’ve got your style in Aisle B – for Mr. B! You can skip Aisle A and all the ones from C to Z, ’Cause just one row is all that you will ever need. If you’ve been listening, then you know what I mean— I’m talkin’ about Aisle B – for Mr. B!
9.
Goin' To See My G & G 03:09
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This dog is feelin’ pretty fine, yeah I’m feelin’ pretty lucky ’Cause I’m sittin’ up tall in the backseat of my big black truck, And I’m surrounded by four people—that’s my precious family— And we even brought the guinea pig—my good friend Little Tawny Yes, the truck’s all packed, my crate’s in the back, and we’re getting’ on the ferry, And I’m thinkin’ that we’re goin’ to see my good ol’ G & G! Yeah, I’m feelin’ pretty fine, yeah, I’m feelin’ pretty lucky I can’t hold it all inside of me, I’ve just got to pant and whine, See, I’m sittin’ in the middle of the big backseat, And the seat is nice and squishy, and the view it can’t be beat, And I don’t have to do the drivin’, I just relax and enjoy the ridin’, And the music’s nice and loud, they’re playin’ jazz songs just for me, And I’m thinkin’ that we’re goin’ to see my good ol’ G & G! Yeah, I’m feelin’ pretty fine, yeah, I’m feelin’ pretty lucky ’Cause I’m curled up on the backseat of my big black truck, And now I’m snoozin’ while we’re cruisin’, that’s the best way to get there sooner, And I’m thinkin’ that we’re goin’ to see my good ol’ ... And I’m thinkin’ that we’re goin’ to see my good ol’ ... And I’m thinkin’ that we’re goin’ to see my good ol’ G & G!
10.
My Funky Beat 02:44
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Sometimes I'm rather dirty, sometimes I'm sparkly clean But deep inside I'm still the same -- the funky Mr. B! Oh, you can throw me in a tub You can soak me with a hose, You can rub-a-dub scrub me From my tail to my nose! You can lather my head 'Til I'm wearin' a sudsy crown, You can rinse off all the bubbles 'Til my bathwater turns brown! But you can't wash away my funky beat-- The wiggle in my hips or the rhythm in my feet The thumpin' of my tail and my voice so sweet-- No, you can't wash away my funky beat! You can polish my ears With a wet cotton puff You can blow dry me and spray me With some sweet lavender stuff You can brush me 'til I'm sleek and smooth Then brush me more and more 'Til pretty soon big balls of fur Are coverin' the floor! But you can't brush away my funky beat-- The wiggle in my hips or the rhythm in my feet The thumpin' of my tail and my voice so sweet-- No, you can't wash away my funky, funky beat!
11.
Bella (Are You Thinkin' 'Bout Me?) 03:02
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Ah, Bella, when you’re out on your deck And you hear a faint squawk, that’s just my chicken flock And I’m just outside caring for them Ah, Bella, if you wait patiently, Later on we can play, please try if you can to understand My work is not easy! Bella, are you thinkin’ ’bout me? Bella, are you thinkin’ ’bout me? In my home down the street, Your true friend, Mr. B, is thinkin’ of you— Thinkin’ of me! (instrumental and repeat chorus) Bella, when you pass on a walk, There is no time to talk, though I know there’s so much That you would like to say! Bella, I’ve got somethin’ to tell ya… I’m an extra-fine fella, quick and handsome and clever, And quite a singer as well Bella, are you thinkin’ ’bout me? Bella, are you thinkin’ ’bout me? That special gleam in your eye, when you see me come your way Makes it plain to see that you’ve been thinkin’ of me!
12.
Hello Darlings! (Hello Hens!) 02:46
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Hello, Hello, Darlings! Hello, Hello, Hens! It’s so good to see you, my little feathered friends! Each one of you is precious, more precious than a jewel I’d never let a squirrel or possum tease you or be cruel Hello, Hello, Darlings! Hello, Hello, Hens! It’s so good to see you, my little feathered friends! You lay the freshest eggs to feed my family I know they also treasure you… almost as much as me! Good day, Darlings! Good day, Hens! What a perfect flock! I could lie for hours and listen to you squawk. Yes, I could lie for hours while you run around your pen Just think about the fun we’d have if you would let me in! Good night, Darlings! Good night, Hens! Go have your bedtime snack. I’ve got things to do inside, but tomorrow I’ll be back! Go to sleep my little ones, good night and sweet dreams. Perhaps we’ll meet in dreamland by a sweetly singing stream. Good night, Darlings! Good night, Hens! The sky is growing dark. I’ll greet you in the morning with my cheerful, ringin’ bark! You sleep in your cozy coop, and I’ll be in my den. And when tomorrow comes, I will tell you once again… Hello, Hello, Darlings! Hello, Hello, Hens! It’s so good to see you, my little feathered friends!
13.
Kindness Counts 02:41
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Did you ever have a dog treat and share it with a friend? Did you ever slow down in a race so the short-legged guy could win? Well, you’re not a truly great dog unless you can be nice, So listen up, ’cause I’ve got some advice: You can enter dog shows everywhere that you go, Bring home ribbons of red and of blue. You can sing sweet and loud, you can strut tall and proud, But remember that Kindness Counts Too! Did you ever see a little boy with tears upon his face ’Cause he couldn’t join the big kids and ride on the school bus? Did you go and stand beside him and try to bring him cheer? Did you use your warm and gentle tongue to lick away his tears? Well, you’re not a truly great dog unless you can be nice, So listen up, ’cause I’ve got some advice: You can enter dog shows everywhere that you go, Bring home ribbons of red and of blue. You can sing sweet and loud, you can strut tall and proud, But remember that Kindness Counts Too! And you can eat chicken pie, you can leap to the sky— There’s no trick that’s too hard for you. You can rule everything like a noble backyard king, But remember that Kindness Counts Too!
14.
Oscar Under the Car 02:43
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It happened long before I found my precious family— Long before I came to be the famous Mr. B. Before I was a signer or a well-known dog-show star— I used to share a different house with a grumpy cat named Oscar We lived with an Old Lady, as I’ve often said before, And Oscar liked to rub her leg and mew and gently purr. I wanted to join in, but whenever I came near, Oscar’d hiss and show his teeth and ruffle up his fur! I once went to his basket and barked out, “Hello, Oscar!” In a flash, he sliced my snout—I may still have the scar. Another time he used his claws to scratch some furniture, Hoping I’d get blamed for it—that’s how it was with Oscar. Well, Oscar was a farm cat, but he seldom wandered far. One day he didn’t show up when the Old Lady called for supper. I just wanted to eat for two—forget that pesky cat!— But when I saw the Old Lady’s worried face, I knew I couldn’t do that! So I sniffed in every corner, cocked my head and perked my ears. Suddenly I heard a noise that filled my chest with fear: A barking, barking, barking—a barking, barking pack! A frightened, frightened, frightened—a frightened, frightened cat! I sped across the meadow just in time to save poor Oscar From a gang of mutts who’d trapped him underneath a neighbor’s car. Just one “woof” was all it took to separate the pack. Oscar quickly came out and jumped upon my back. They never could have caught me—they didn’t even run. Those stupid mutts just stood there with their big mouths hanging open. The Old Lady showered me with treats—I’d saved her precious cat— And even grumpy Oscar acted grateful after that!
15.
How It All Began 02:01
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Even though I’m all grown up, I still recall myself as a pup My voice was just a little squeak, not yet musical and sweet And if I tried to make a leap, I’d trip on my big puppy feet But I watched my mom and watched my dad… That is How It All Began Now I’m settled happily—I’ve found the perfect family I even have a big backyard, and a chicken flock that I must guard My voice is known both far and wide, I’ve entered contests, brought home prizes So thank you, Mom, and thank you, Dad… That is How It All Began
16.
The Dog Show King 01:33
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Oh, the day is almost here! It comes ‘round just once a year. There’s a smell of great excitement in the air. From the cities and small towns, Border collies, pugs, and hounds Come together for the greatest show around! They are freshly bathed and groomed, Shaggy places neatly trimmed, And they can’t wait to show off their new costumes. They’ve been practicing for weeks To perform the perfect tricks For judges who catch every small mistake. But when the Dog Show King Proudly trots into the ring, Tips his head, licks his lips, and starts to sing, All the judges will agree That the top dog must be He, The Border collie known as Mr. B!
17.
Me and the Wind and Rain 03:22
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Oh, I’m out on my porch again, Just rememberin’ when the leaves were green. When the summer sun warmed my bones And my family always stayed at home, Yeah, we’d romp out in that mornin’ sun— Day after day of ball-chasin’ fun. Now they go to school and the porch is where I’m stayin— Just Me and the Wind and Rain! I see another dog comin’, so I rush up to the fence. I listen to my chickens makin’ a big fuss, Tellin’ each other all about the eggs they’re layin’— I chuckle to myself at all the silly things they’re sayin’, Then once more it’s quiet, and I settle down again, Just Me and the Wind and Rain! The same old weather day after day— Pitter-pat-patter from a sky of gray! Morning to night it’s howling wind… And I’m out on my porch again, And my cushion never felt so thin. I can’t find a comfy spot to rest my chin, And no one’s waitin’ at the door to let me in! I could woof or I could whine, Or I could howl all day… It doesn’t matter, no one hears what I’m sayin’, It doesn’t matter, no one hears what I’m sayin’, It doesn’t matter, no one hears what I’m sayin’, Just Me and the Wind and Rain!
18.
Hen Heaven 01:09
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Joe’s, we’ll miss your kind heart and face, But your life was good, and now we hope you’re in a happy place— Where you never have wet feathers from standing in the rain, Where there’s always some moist earth to scratch for worms and bugs and grain. Where the dust bath’s always dusty, and the coop is always clean, Where the sister hens don’t argue, and raccoons are never seen. Where your favorite nesting box is waiting, filled with fluffy, fresh wood shavings, Where you roost from dusk to dawn surrounded by your friends… Joe’s, that’s where we’ll picture you—in a heaven just for hens.
19.
Take Me To The Country 02:44
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Oh, take me to the country, where the grass is sweet and tall, Where there’s really room to romp and roll and chase your tennis ball. Oh, take me to the country, where the stream is cold and clear, Where the trails go on forever, and the forest’s full of deer. Oh, take me to the country, let’s grab our things and go. Take me to the country and I’ll show you what I know. Oh, take me to the country, ’cause that’s where I long to be. Oh, take me to the country—that’s the place for Mr. B! I was runnin’ through a country field, the sky was big and wide— I was on the trail of somethin’ great, with no cares on my mind. I felt the sunshine on my back and smelled the country air. Then suddenly I woke up… in my crate beneath the stairs! Oh, take me to the country, where the grass is sweet and tall, Where there’s really room to romp and roll and chase your tennis ball. Oh, take me to the country, where the stream is cold and clear, Where the trails go on forever, and the forest’s full of deer. If I lived in the country, I could really stretch my legs. I would have a hundred chickens and be famous for my eggs. I would herd a flock of wooly sheep and playful goats, of course. And for my littlest master I would buy a gentle horse. Oh, take me to the country, let’s grab our things and go. Take me to the country and I’ll show you what I know. Oh, take me to the country, ’cause that’s where I long to be. Oh, take me to the country—that’s the place for Mr. B!
20.
Dance All Night 03:54
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I’m callin’ all dogs all across the land, No matter your age or how tall you stand. Come gather tonight in my Big Backyard, ‘Cause I’ve got a new dance and it’s not too hard! In no time at all, you’ll be dancin’ it right— In no time at all, you’ll wanna Dance All Night! Now, cock your heads, we’re about to begin When you hear me cry “Go!” you gotta spin, spin, spin! You gotta bark like crazy, like you just can’t wait, Like you’re just about to burst out of your Cheetah Run gate! In no time… Next part of my dance, you gotta fly through the air Like you’re leapin’ for a tennis ball that’s really not there. We might look crazy, and the squirrels might stare, But this party’s for dogs, and we really don’t care! In no time… Now walk around like you’re pretendin’ to beg Reachin’ for a juicy treat, stretchin’ your hind legs. Takes a lot of balance from your tail to your nose— So careful not to tumble back or squish your partner’s toes. In no time… Now here’s a little move I’m sure that every dog knows, If you’ve ever been caught in the rain or squirted with a garden hose. There’s only one way to get your soakin’ fur dry— Give a mighty shake, the water’s gonna fly! Now our dance is over and you get to relax. Go flop down on your back in a patch of cool grass. And after you have rested ’neath the moon so bright, We’re gonna do it all again, we’re gonna Dance All Night!
21.
Jump to the Moon 02:09
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Some evening when the moon is full, You go to the porch and give Mr. B a call. You peer out into the shadowy dark And wait to hear his cheerful bark. There’s no reply, the sky grows dim, You think you’d better search for him. Don’t worry—he will be home soon. He’s leaped and landed on the moon! Well, you’re probably wondering how long he’s gonna stay Up there on that ball of white so very far away. It all depends on who he meets Or if he finds some tasty treats. He might be back tomorrow Or he might be home today. Don’t worry—he will be back soon. He’s leaped and landed on the moon! Look closely at that glowing light... You might see his familiar face. Listen closely... you might hear His sweet voice singing up in space! Well, you’re probably wondering how long he’s gonna stay Up there on that ball of white so very far away. He might be back tomorrow Or he might be home today. Don’t worry—he should be back soon. He’s leaped and landed on the moon! He’s leaped and landed on the moon!
22.
Wild Child 03:20
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When I was a young pup, my father said to me, “Someday, Son, you’ll take my place as Master of the Frisbee.” But I was different from my pop, and I mastered different tricks— He was known for Frisbees, I chase tennis balls and sticks ’Cause I’m a Wild Child, Wild Child, no meek and mild child A Wild Child, Wild Child, Wild Child. Yeah, I’m a Wild Child, Wild Child, look behind my wide smile, You will see the heart of a Wild Child! When I was a young pup, my mother said to me, “Someday, Son, you’ll take my place as herder of the sheep.” But I was different from my ma, and I had different plans. She watched over wooly lambs while I take care of hens ’Cause I’m a Wild Child, Wild Child, no meek and mild child A Wild Child, Wild Child, Wild Child. Yeah, I’m a Wild Child, Wild Child, look behind my wide smile, You will see the heart of a Wild Child! When I was a young pup, my parents said this too— “Someday, Son, you’ll learn to yip and growl just like we do.” But I was different from my folks, and I had bigger dreams. Now I’m winnin’ Dog Shows with my sweet, sweet melodies! ’Cause I’m a Wild Child, Wild Child, no meek and mild child A Wild Child, Wild Child, Wild Child. Yeah, I’m a Wild Child, Wild Child, look behind my wide smile, You will see the heart of a Wild Child!

about

One day in early summer, two young sisters wondered if any fairies might be living in the area. They made a fairy house in their front yard and waited eagerly for signs of fairy life. The very next morning, they found a letter waiting by the house. Two fairies had spent the night in the house and had also met the family dog, a friendly Border collie-Belgian shepherd known as Bear--or as "Mr. B" to his many friends and admirers. The fairies, Silvie and Ruby-Ann, revealed that they could understand and speak dog language and that they they had given Mr. B a cookie, thus sealing their friendship.

Night after night, the fairies returned to answer letters left by the sisters and to chat with Mr. B. They were able to answer many questions about Mr. B's life before his family had adopted him. They were also able to find out Mr. B's thoughts on all aspects of his current life. As Mr. B's big personality and unique views emerged, the sisters began to ask if he might compose some poems and songs. Conveniently and coincidentally, the father of the sisters had written many other songs himself, so Mr. B could have help (if he should need it) with setting his original words to music and recording them for posterity.

These songs are a result of this collaborative effort, but they would not exist without two very creative and persistent girls and, of course, without the one and only Mr. B.

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released July 18, 2015

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Wes Mantooth Kirkland, Washington

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